Day 127:
It's been four months now since my servants moved me into this new place. I hear them laugh and refer to it as "The House of Payne;" they think they're so funny. Try being stuck in here day and night! I see the neighborhood cats playing outside from the windows and sometimes I can't help but long for freedom. On the other hand, though, it seems ridiculous to wander so far from my food dish. That is about the only thing the servants are good for, putting food in my dish. Those silly humans tease me with a ridiculous feather on a stick and actually believe they're getting amusement at my expense. If they only realized the fun I have at theirs; nipping at feet as they walk to the shower in the morning, choosing the exact moment they're busy with something else to decide I want to be affectionate, batting shiny (and often expensive) objects off tables... so much fun. I hear a noise; I think one of those poor shmucks has just cleaned my litter box and I really must go try it out. Goodbye for now, diary.
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